That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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