im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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