We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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