yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
