"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
