my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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