I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
