I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
