Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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