Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
