I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He did a backflip because drugs
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