Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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