We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
