He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
