either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
