I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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