let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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