I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
