Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
