If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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