I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
