I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
