fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
