Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
