the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
