You made me cry and you don't even care
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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