I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
