im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the day after is always just damage control
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
