you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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