I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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