I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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