Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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