I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
