But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
