Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
