fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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