I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
