New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
