Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
