i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
