Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
