Plan B is the new Plan A
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
