Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
