She said her name was "party"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
