your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
