the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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