maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Girls should come with a carfax report
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
