its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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