Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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