Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
